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Joke of the Day

"What comes after huehuehue? satsatsat lumlumlum"

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"Knock knock Who's there? Control Freak. Now you say ""Control Freak who?"""
"I literally use figuratively in literally every occasion where I am literally speaking figuratively."
"What's the best part of punching a tranny in the face? You get the pleasure of punching a woman but with none of the guilt!"
"A blonde is at the diner A blonde is at a diner and when the waitress comes to take the order, the blonde reads the name tag out loud: 'Debbie, how sweet.... what do you call the other one?'"
"What batteries do turtles use? Durashells"
"I have developed a truly marvellous demonstration of Fermat's last theorem ... which this post is too short to contain"
"I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep."
"Rick Astley will give you any movie from his Pixar collection... ...But he's never gonna give you Up."
"GOOD COP: Tell us what you know BAD COP: Or we'll turn up the heat DAD COP: DON'T YOU TOUCH THAT DAMN THERMOSTAT"