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Joke of the Day

"They say when a man meets the right woman, he is complete. When a man meets the wrong woman is finished. When the right woman meets the wrong woman with the man, he is completely finished."

"A physicist sees a man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He yells ""Don't do it! You have so much potential!"""

"We had a safety meeting at work today. They asked me ""what steps would you take in event of a fire? ""Fucking big ones"" was apparently not the right answer."

"This bottle of beer is not only delicious,,,, It also contains almost 10% of my daily requirement of beer..."

"A man once said, that i was gay... ...i took his dick out of my mouth and said ""i'll add an extra 5 bucks to the bill for that"""

"I asked ny blind friend to read braille for me I guess every lego spells out ""fuck you dude""."

"Snotty bitch in the elevator was looking down her nose at me. So I had to ask her, ""Lady, can I smell your pussy?"" Indignantly, she said, ""No, you may not!"" ""Oh, well, then it must be your feet!"""

"When midgets smoke weed... ...do they get high, or do they just get medium?"

"Did you hear the one about the deaf guy? Neither did he."

"My cat Minton just swallowed a shuttle cock. Bad Minton."