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Joke of the Day

"Who was the sexiest woman in Greek myth? Actually, it was Medusa. One look from her made guys rock hard."

"What does the rude barista say to the customer in a coffee shop? I can't decide whether you are a fruitcake or a doughnut!"

"[February 12] Henry VIII: jeez walmart is out of cards, flowers and chocolate. She's going to kill me! Unless... [February 13] beheads wife"

"I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I'd resemble a crack addict."

"YO MAMA SO FAT! Yo mama so fat, that when she went skydiving over Iraq, isis thought America dropped a nuke."

"What does Captain Kirk wear to the fitness center? Jim shorts."

"Thank God for semi colon's. How would I have ever been able to flirt if they didn't exist?"

"Men domesticated dogs to have a friend. Cats to eradicate the pests of the home. But we are still trying to domesticate women for easy reproduction."

"Your girlfriend is imaginary... Nope, she's real. She just hasn't arrived yet."

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking... Jk, rowling."