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Joke of the Day

"My cocaine is so white Police let it go with a warning"

"Stapling my scrotum to a tree... Not a great way to start any evening..."

"You read for a part, you feel good about it, you feel confident, then they cast Ben Affleck."

"I've discovered the best way to punish 17, is to put on the same outfit as her, then follow her around all day yelling out ""TWINSIES!"""

"Billy Mays so good He once sold pain to Chuck Norris."

"I hate that random song you hear in the morning and gets stuck in your head all day long."

"What is the difference between a gay mans mustache and a straight mans mustache? Andwer: the smell."

"Did you hear about the piece of scrap wood? He went to BOARDing school and applyed (applied) to college."

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast."

"A friend asked if I thought there was alien life on other planets and I was like don't give up hope, there's someone out there for you"