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Joke of the Day

"What did the redneck say after his girlfriend swallowed? You gots the purdiest tooth I ever comed across, Sis."

"Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest."

"I used to work in mysterious ways. Now I just don't work."

"[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza."

"An Irish elocution lesson Say the following words together quickly: Whale. Oil. Beef. Hooked."

"Why was Mark Fuch a terrible mailman? He keeps delivering to the wrong fuching address!"

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? One I eat everyday, and the other is an Italian-based flatbread with tomato sauce"

"Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife."

"Men are like a bag of chips They seem full at first glance but when you look inside you see it's mostly just air."

"Scientists have grown human vocal chords in a Petri dish... The results speak for themselves."