155343

Joke of the Day

"How do you tune a fish? With its scales!"

"Don't you hate it when people answer their own questions? I know I do."

"With all those 'thoughts and prayers' on Facebook it's amazing people are *still* dying."

"I used to think that Sarah Palin was a closed minded conservative Christian. ... but then I found out she is also into palm reading."

"Thank God I wasn't on twitter when I was in college. It would've taken me 65 years to get my degree."

"My girlfriend wants me to take her to Paris, and treat her like a princess The only thing is, I don't know which to pick: the guillotine or the Mercedes."

"""I don't know, do you guys really think the first rule should be 'Must Wash Hands?'"" early brainstorming session on Fight Club script."

"Stopped drinking coffee 3 days ago, and feel less and less addicted to caffeine with every new cup of my own pee."

"Two prostitutes are talking about their clients... One of them says ""So yesterday I had this client who had a dick like my leg!"", the other replies ""Impossible - no man has a dick that's that dirty""."

"So.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra..."