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Joke of the Day

"I hope my husband never gets Alzheimer's but if he does, I imagine my favorite part will be saying ""I gave you one yesterday."""

"Basic Instinct Star Cast in ""The Carpenters"" Biopic This summer: SHARON IS KAREN"

"I was holding the door for an Asian guy and he said ""sank you."" So I punched him. Cant believe that he brought up Pearl Harbor lke that"

"In an act of great philanthropy, Chuck made a very generous donation to the American Cancer Society. He donated 6,000 dead bodies for scientific research."

"Cigarettes are like hamsters Harmless, until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"So my girlfriend asked me to make love to her like in the movies.... So I pulled out and busted all over her face....apparantly we don't watch the same movies"

"Hangs a sign on front door that says ""Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb"" to deter burglars"

"A wife asks her husband... ""do you piss in the shower?"" ""Of course"" he replies. ""that's disgusting"" she shrieks ""but honey, I always piss when I take a shit"""

"My new hobby: Seeing animals in old films like westerns, and saying ""I can tell you something about that animal."" ""It's dead now."""

"I before E, except after C, or when sounding like A in words like neighbor and weigh. **Weird...**"