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Joke of the Day

"So my girlfriend asked me to make love to her like in the movies.... So I pulled out and busted all over her face....apparantly we don't watch the same movies"

"Hillary Clinton has been so embarrassed about her email scandal that if elected she will bring back the secure channels of communication she used growing up... the pony express."

"You have an uncle named Jack. Would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?"

"Even in the Olympics, women's basketball is un-watchable."

"Stop supporting Russian companies! I hear they all use Slav labor!"

"My favourite Halloween joke: ""I was going to dress up as Jian Gomeshi but I figured that would be too creepy."""

"What's the difference between me and a calendar? A calendar has dates. #foreveralone"

"I have ADHD How do I upgrade to AD4K?"

"What is an elf's favourite kind of birthday cake? Shortcake!"

"what did the fish say to the jelous fish? ur jellyfish"