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Joke of the Day

"Went to the dog car dealership. I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!"

"I was once raped by a gang of mimes. They performed unspeakable things to me!"

"What bee is good for your health ? Vitamin bee !"

"I just walked past White Hart Lane and found 3 Spurs season tickets nailed to a wall. I thought of having them. Nails always come in handy."

"Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they're all targets."

"How much cocaine is 2 much? Do u think security will view me ridding the elevator from the 1st to 2nd floor for the past 3hrs suspicious??"

"Why do you get arrested for walking into an army base unauthorised in the USA? Because Obama doesn't like anyone sneaking in his barracks."

"I started observing extremists Wanted to find out what made them tick... tock... boom"

"My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested."

"My Dad asked if I wanted to go on a mountain climbing trip with him in Nepal, I said, ""Sher, pa"""