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Joke of the Day

"Romanian is not actually a nationality It's a profession."

"Q: How do you sink an Irish submarine? A: Knock on the hatch."

"Does anyone else have a girlfriend great enough to tell them that they have herpes? Well, me neither"

"I once farted in an elevator . . . it was wrong on so many levels."

"I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said ""Die, Decepticons! Die!"""

"Two Chemists Two chemists go out for a nice meal. The drinks were okay. The meal was OK too. They both died."

"Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear"

"*petting a dog* So how long have you been blind, officer? *gets arrested*"

"If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life."

"What do you call a blonde standing between two brunettes? A mental block!"