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Joke of the Day

"Christmas jokes needed I am about to MC a high school Christmas staff talent show and need your best Christmas or holiday jokes. This is happening in two hours."

"No matter how bored I get, I'll never be bored enough to go back and read through all the greeting cards I've saved over the years."

"Why did the Soviet union fail? Too much Stalin'. Yeah it's bad but it made me giggle when I thought of it... :P"

"Fear Factor would have been much scarier if it had just been people in their twenties trying to figure out how to have careers"

"What is better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Having two legs"

"I hate it when people call me judgemental Especially people wearing shoes like that"

"Friend: You'll find love again. Me: STOP THREATENING ME"

"What is black and white and red and brown and silver and can't turn around in an elevator? A nun with a harpoon through her head."

"I accidentally dropped my phone from a 20-story building. It's a good thing I had it on Flight Mode."

"We only have world peace today thanks to the tireless efforts of thousands of former beauty queens who didn't give up on their dreams."