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Joke of the Day

"What did Moses say to the guy who wanted a boat I Noah guy"

"My coworkers and I pitched in to buy Greece as a retirement gift for the boss.. We decided it was better than a $50 Applebee's gift card."

"What does a Polish woman and a hockey team have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"hello poison control. i need some poison asap, my kid is being a real piece of shit. yes i'll hold."

"For Sale: Starter motor for Perpetual Motion Machine. Only used once."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... ...bought for far less money than it would have cost to buy it locally."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? I may take a while to get hard, I just got laid."

"A nice one (maybe repost) I don't smoke, I don't drink, I never swear and - Oh shit my cigaette fell into my beer!"

"Alligators sewing little pictures of rich white people on their shirts."

"My wife said to me, ""Would you rather have sex with Angelina Jolie or Mila Kunis?"" I said, ""Yes."""