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Joke of the Day
"RIP time spent on Twitter."
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"""See you later alligator"" ""In a whilst crocodile"" -why we fought the British for independence"
"I haven't seen a Brazilian as bad as Fred since Stevie Wonder shaved his wife's pussy."
"What did quantum consciousness say to its son? Your awareness differentiates to the expansion of experiences and freedom impacts the expression of the phenomena in reality to quantum belonging."
"A woman is like a shadow: when you walk from behind she runs away. When you run from her follows you behind."
"What idiot named them twins instead of wombmates?"
"needs to stop keeping the cocaine next to the coffee creamer. I screwed up again. drinking a cup now and it has that weird milky taste."
"Every picture I've seen of Neil Patrick Harris the last ten years has been of him adjusting his shirt cuffs. He needs better shirts."
"Where's the most dangerous place to go trick-or-treating? On the psycho path!"
"What do you call a guy who likes to hang out with musicians? A drummer."