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Joke of the Day

"I'm giving up alcohol for a month. Wait, that came out wrong. I'm giving up. Alcohol for a month."

"*Relationship status* Me: I'm heading off now. Wife: Yayyy."

"Million dollar idea: A bathroom mirror that takes pictures."

"Thank God the conventions are over because now we can get back to the real issues: FOOTBALL."

"Did you hear about the Iranian terrorist who switched off the fans of his stolen helicopter because he couldn't stand the draft?"

"What do you call a black guy in outer space? An astronaut you racist bastard."

"Why did the walrus goto the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through something so small?"

"I asked a female moderator why I couldn't post images on r/jokes... ""I have a boyfriend!"""

"My teen sent my call directly to voicemail on the phone she used to have."