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Joke of the Day

"I don't usually pick up hitchhikers but this poor guy looks like he's running late to hockey practice. He already has his mask on."

"What do you call a Jew who gets beat by women? Bernie Sanders."

"I think a cool anti-hero would be Aeon Netflux ...except during fights she would stop every 2 minutes to ""rebuffer"", and her selection of moves would be extremely limited."

"""I'm sorry. I haven't had sex for a very long time."" -- and other things I say during the meeting to excuse my bad behavior."

"What do you call 500 dead lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean? A good start"

"Feeling pretty tough after some dodgy Indian takeaway last night If anyone needs me, I'll be vindaloo."

"The Declaration of Independence was NOT written in Philadelphia. it was written in ink"

"Which U.S Presidents are not buried inside the United States? Carter, the Bushes, Clinton, and Barry-O"

"Edgy? You are seriously describing WINE as ""edgy""? Vodka with Xanax and a side of knife fight is edgy. This is Welch's."

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman in a bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul!"