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Joke of the Day

"Feeling pretty tough after some dodgy Indian takeaway last night If anyone needs me, I'll be vindaloo."

"'Dad, how do you feel about abortions?' Why don't you ask your sister? But I don't have a .........oooooh."

"How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel."

"Cold War Hungarian Joke Communism is the noble struggle by the proletariat to overcome problems that only exist under Communism."

"[spooky noise comes from my closet] monster under my bed: you heard that too right"

"All the letters of the alphabet line up in front of a prostitute A says, ""Alpha queue""."

"What is the first thing a cannibal does after dumping his girlfriend? He wipes his ass."

"I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline."

"A boy is walking in the forest with a pedophile ""This forest is really scary,"" says the boy. ""Tell me about it,"" replies the pedophile. ""And I have to walk outta here alone!"""

"What's next to England? A question mark."