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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a kid with an eye patch, braces and a lisp? Names"

"What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver? Time to get a new watchdog."

"Sex is a big joke. I just don't get it."

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"Apparently telling the principal that ""it's not cheating, it's cooperative learning"" was the wrong thing to say."

"Me and my family are always drinking alcohol when we get together What can I say, it's in our blood."

"Heard about the new paki doll coming out for christmas? You wind it up and it stinks."

"My girlfriend said she will leave me unless I stop pretending to be a dung beetle. I said, 'Go right ahead. I can live without sex but I do need to eat every day'."

"I asked for a chemistry joke, and he responded with this. [x-post from r/dadjokes] What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer? The taste."

"Two parrots sat on a perch one turns to the other and asks, 'Can you smell fish?'"