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Joke of the Day

"Me and my family are always drinking alcohol when we get together What can I say, it's in our blood."

"wife: I saw in my dream that you were buying a diamond ring for me Husband: I saw your dad paying the bill... :D"

"How do you tell if there's a Pilot in the room? They've already told you."

"What did one eyeball say to the other? Between you and me, something smells."

"Where do onions fight? In the onion ring!"

"you miss 100% of shots you don't take"

"Mickey: ok but that'll be $20 extra Goofy: Done. *Mickey puts on bow and heels*"

"What do you call a lesbian spy? Lesbianage."

"What is brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre"

"I like my feminists like I like my sand. In sacks keeping the flood water away from my house."