154501

Joke of the Day

"What do you call coffee made from coal? Tarbucks."

"Guest: Why did you offer me a piece of candy? Hotel Clerk: You said you wanted the best suite in the hotel."

"A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. ""Baa-Dum-Tss"""

"Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets."

"The word 'phonetically' doesn't even start with an f. Shit like this is why aliens fly straight past us."

"Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced."

"How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck."

"What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl in the 1940s? With a dustpan."

"Bush Jr, and his take on words The only reason Bush Jr attacked Iraq,,, is because Bush Sr. asked for ""a tie rack"" for Christmas!"

"Listening to NPR during fundraising campaigns has prepared me to ignore my kids when they ask for money."