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Joke of the Day

"Don't think you're immune. We're all just a whim away from singing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight."" Yes, a whim away...a whim away...a whim away."

"I work out religiously... On christmas and Easter!"

"Two office workers are chatting by the water cooler ""I has a nice quiet dinner with the wife last night"" one says. ""Oh yeah?"" The other responds. ""Yeah, except for the celery."""

"God: You'll be cursed to travel the desert for 35 years Moses: *slipping him $20* How about 30 [Later] Moses: We must wander for 40 years"

"Got a handjob from a blind girl last night She said ""You have the biggest dick I've ever put my hands on."" I said ""Nah. You're just pulling my leg."""

"Have you ever read ""The Longest Joke in the World""? Now you have."

"If you want to feel the bern Have unprotected sex."

"What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard? A coin to scratch it with."

"What subject are snakes good at school ? Hiss-tory !"

"Can't wait for the google doodle guy to get dumped and make things super personal."