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Joke of the Day

"What do you do if your daughter starts smoking? Slow down and use lube."

"Kids, I can't tell you how much I enjoy sweating for an hr in the kitchen each day, just to see your little ""what the fuck is this"" faces"

"Step 1: Get underwear with the Millennium Falcon on the butt. Step 2: Have the fastest hunk of junk in the trunk in the galaxy."

"2 Indian guys accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine... Both were rushed to hospital. One's in a korma, the other's got a dodgy tikka."

"Why can't Kermit and Miss Piggy count to one hundred? Because every time they get to 69, Miss Piggy gets a frog in her throat."

"Did you know it was women who coined the term, ""Bromance""? Yeah, basically the concept of friendship is so foreign to them that they created a new word for it."

"Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage? I don't know I just fly the drone."

"""That wasn't chicken in the Chow Mein"" I'd make a great Fortune Cookie writer."

"Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh"

"What's the difference between a Goodyear tire and 365 condoms? One is a Goodyear and one is a great year"