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Joke of the Day

"How is your mom just like a laundromat? For a dollar in quarters she will take my load."

"What's the meanest thing someone's ever said to you? Oh, you're a redditor?"

"I put an energy drink in my hummingbird feeder, now all my hummingbirds are going back in time and returning with tiny top hats."

"Am I original? -Yeaaah. Am I the only one? -Yeaaah. Do you wanna build a snowman? -Go away, Anna. Ok byyyyye."

"Two submissives sitting in a tree. N O T H I N G"

"In the 1970s it was almost impossible to insult someone electronically. Thank god that nightmare is over."

"[freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour"

"Why was the ground all white after Custer's last stand? Because the Indians just kept coming, and coming..."

"I don't want to just eat Olive Garden. I want to eat OLIVE it."

"A colorblind person logged onto Facebook the day SCOTUS legalized gay marriage... ""Hey everyone, why are you all advertising for '50 Shades of Grey'?"""