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Joke of the Day

"[freezing huddled around fire] Dont worry I brought blankets to keep us warm *throws blankets on fire* that should last a good half hour"

"Apparently trapping people in an elevator overnight (even if you have marsh mellows) not a good way to make friends, people are so sensitive"

"I caught two teens smoking pot behind my office. Ten minutes later, my boss caught two teens and myself smoking pot behind my office."

"I got a job crushing cans... ...It's soda pressing..."

"robin williams punchlines were always on point i never thought he would ultimately leave us hanging"

"Q: What did the tree say to the mountain? A: Stop peaking at me."

"What does a redditer say when he reads a joke on r/jokes? We saw that same joke two days ago"

"Did you hear about the orthopedic surgeon that replaced his knee with a metal implant? You could see the irony...."

"My penis and I are really good friends but... We've never really seen eye to eye"

"My kids are very optimistic. Every glass they leave sitting around the house is at least half full."