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Joke of the Day

"Warning: This movie may contain nudity. Either it does or it doesn't, don't waste my time."

"A lot of women can't drive because they're too busy giving mixed signals. @MaleHonesty86"

"How do you get Americans to join a World War? Tell them it's nearly finished."

"What did the British proton say after 5 cups of coffee? I feel positively charged!"

"Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back."

"Two peanuts were walking through Central Park late at night. One was a salted."

"It Looks Like a Booger But it's SNOT!"

"Thank god for smart phones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom"

"I saw a man at the beach going ""Help! Shark! Help!"" I laughed because I knew that the shark wasn't going to help him."

"Did you hear about the stupid woodworm? He was found in a brick."