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Joke of the Day
"Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys? Aisle B, back."
Next Joke
"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I put on the wrong socks before I went for a walk."
"To err is human; to moo bovine."
"Me: SPIDER! Brain: Nope, fluff. Me: SPIDER! Brain: That is a fly. Me: SPIDER!!! Brain: sigh. That's your hand idiot."
"Knock knock. Who's there? Mom & Dad. Mom & Dad who? Exactly. -Cool way to tell your son he's adopted."
"Can /r/jokes start using NSFW tags for jokes with crude humor/language?"
"Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN."
"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."
"*job interview* Why do you want to be a psychiatrist? *pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people"
"Me: C'mon, baby. Send me a pic. Her: I dunno. Me: Baby, please. I need it. Her: Fine. *Opens pic of pug dressed like a duck* Me: Sweeeeeet"