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Joke of the Day

"I dreamed that midgets were trying to assassinate me, so I bought a bulletproof car. Since they were midgets, I bought a convertible."

"Why aren't there any Jewish Jedis? Because they lose their Force skins :D"

"How do you get down off an elephant? You don't. You get down off a goose."

"A guy goes to the doctor... He says, ""Doc, every time I drink coffee I feel a sharp pain in my right eye."" The doctor asks, ""Did you take out the spoon?"""

"What is this 'wrong hole' you people speak of?"

"Did you hear about the dolphin who went thru a existential crisis? Turns out, he lost his sense of porpoise."

"What's E.T. short for? Because he's only got little legs."

"What do they call me in prison? Mitochondria, cause I'm the powerhouse of the cell"

"I don't believe Trump when he says he doesn't smoke In the past 2 months I've seen him smoke 2 Cubans."

"Somebody left a baby at my front door today, and I have no idea what to do with it. I just hope it's gone by tomorrow."