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Joke of the Day

"yo mama's teeth so yellow that when she smiles everyone sings ""i got sunshine on a cloudy day""....."

"Whenever there is injustice in the world, Americans will rise up and retweet a hashtag."

"What did the popular astrophysicist's father say to him after his cleat came undone at soccer practice? ""Kneel in the grass and tie, son."""

"What is the difference between Tiger Woods and Ted Cruz? Heidi cannot swing a golf club."

"Why did the blonde girlfriend's bellybutton hurt? Because her boyfriend was blonde too! Take a second. I'll show myself out."

"What do you call a lazy sandstone? A sedentary rock."

"My nephew asked, ""What's the secret to a long life?"" I said, ""Never order vegetarian in Texas"""

"I always carry a piece of paper with me, just in case someone tries to attack me with a rock."

"Bravo, Oscar, Oscar, Bravo, Sierra"

"I bet M. Night Shyamalan was really good the first time he had sex, then terrible every time after."