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Joke of the Day

"What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth? ... a soviet"

"Why was the Mexican tire sad? Because it was despair"

"I spent the last hour repeatedly pressing F5 It's pretty refreshing."

"When I was a child I played ""The Floor is Lava!"" But as an adult, I've put away childish fancies, and purchased magical lava-proof shoes."

"When the hostess at the restaurant says ""table for two?"", I always like to look surprised and whisper ""you can see her too?""."

"*ring* Her: Hello, Sex Addict Hotline Me: Help please Her: Ok sir. Let's take some breaths. Deep. Slow. In and out Me: THIS ISN'T HELPING"

"Actually, there are but two types of people Those who can extrapolate from limited data ..."

"Why would Donald Trump want to lose the election? Winning means he'd need to live in a smaller house in a black neighborhood"

"ageism fascinates me because it's the only ism with this built-in inevitable irony. like, no racist gradually changes into a hispanic"

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Bruce Wayne's parents"