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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. Possibly better for r/dadjokes, I'll show my self out."

"TIL Albert Einstein married his cousin. That's how he discovered the theory of relativity"

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"The cops came to my door to give me a ticket for a dog at large. They say he was chasing a kid on a bike. I said, ""that's not true, my dog can't ride a bike."""

"I'm writing a television series which involves everyone smoking dope. It's a mellow drama."

"My bra is off, my pajamas are on, my hair is up. I'm not sure if I'm going to bed, or to Walmart."

"According to my girlfriend, a small penis shouldn't be a problem in any loving relationship. I still wish she didn't have one though."

"Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel... Ground Breaking Stuff."

"There was a time when men expected to be your lover without getting with your friends. That all changed in 1996. Let me tell you a story..."