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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: It'll either work or it won't. Me: Yes. Those would be the two possible outcomes."

"Why was 1 all salty? Someone told him it was 2's day."

"Why is it called finding nemo? been wondering for years"

"It's a shame Jerry Hall never got it on with Vidal Sassoon Then she'd have completed rock, paper and scissors."

"My girlfriend is like a goddess... My friends and family don't believe she exists."

"Being sick sucks. I've laid in bed for days, ate nothing, lost 4 pounds, didn't go to work and slept nonstop. Wait. Being sick is AWESOME!"

"I'm so sick of this new year's jokes I've been hearing them all year."

"Being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to the queen. On the one hand it is a great honour, but you dread the moment when you have to rise to perform."

"Yo gurl is your dad in prison? 'cause if I was your dad I'd be in prison."

"A vagina is like a warm toilet seat on a cold day It's nice, but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."