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Joke of the Day

"These days, satisfying my sex drive is like using Uber. It's a nervous ride with a stranger who expects to be paid after we reach the end."

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"Did you know diarrhea is genetic? It runs in your jeans"
"With all the hate about the black clone trooper He is a clone of Jango Fett brother, Django Fett. http://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/star-wars-teaser.png?w=670&h=351&crop=1"
"Knock Knock - Who's there? Tyfe ... Tyfe Who? Yes, thanks. Milk and two sugars please."
"What's blue and orange & sits at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with burst armbands."
"Why do you hold your hand flat above your eyes when you look into the distance? Because when you would cover your eyes with your hand, you wouldn't see sh*t. I'm lame."
"A barbed wire tattoo is a great way to keep people from breaking into your upper arm."
"I remember when I used to hang out with the lead singer for Limp Bizkit... They were the Fredst of times, they were the Durst of times."
"Chuck Norris tries this at home."
"How has sound technology come so far & yet the McDonalds drive-thru still sounds like someone is farting into a walkie-talkie."