153674

Joke of the Day

"You know you're an ugly c*nt when it comes to a group picture and they hand you the camera."

"I have a sexual attraction and fetish for car races I just love getting off to a good start"

"What type of meat are your calves made of? Bologna."

"NEWSFLASH: Billy Corgan has permanently lost his voice, and can only lip sync his songs... Going forward his band will be known as 'DUBSMASHING PUMPKINS'."

"Twitter. Finally an app that makes people stop at yellow lights."

"Hey, you funny fellows, what are some nonchalant jokes to tell people that do not sound like a joke at first? I need to impress my friends with Internet stuff, gosh."

"I hate double standards. If a baby crawls around, it's ""adorable,"" but if I do, I'm ""causing a disturbance"" and ""need to leave""? Whatever."

"My paper towels went missing so I hired a Bounty hunter."

"If I die, I'm gonna kill myself. I just couldn't live without me."

"I have been feeling down on my karma lately.. so I bought a horse and named her Karma. Upvotes for me and Karma-horse."