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Joke of the Day

"How fast can Klingon's run? About Warf speed. My mom made this joke up last night at a bbq party. She likes to think she is funnier on holidays. Thanks, Mom."

"I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward."

"What did the tampon say to the other? Nothing; they were both stuck up cunts!"

"As a priest finishes paying for his hotel room, he says to the cashier: ""And can you make sure the porn in my room is disabled?"" Cashier: ""right you are, you filthy bastard!"""

"What did the father say to the pedophile at the beach? ""Hey you're in my son"""

"Pavlov walks into a bar. Ivan Pavlov walks into a bar. The bartender rings the bell for last drinks, and he thinks ""shit - I forgot to feed the dog"""

"My nickname is Gilette because I'm the best a man can get. Also, I will cut you"

"I just saw a gang fight. One gang claimed that grease is the word, and the other said that bird is the word. I think eight guys were killed."

"post and comment hey nice jokes"

"You shouldn't call short people ""midgets"". It isn't the right gnomenclature."