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Joke of the Day

"My bf just asked me ""what do you call it when you get water sprayed up your butt to clean it, again?"" Me ""...foreplay"""

"I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer."

"I just got Natalie Portman's autograph! Sure, it's on a restraining order, but still..."

"I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, ""Well, that's not going to happen."""

"What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common? They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums."

"Spell Indian tent with two letters. TP."

"How did Wendy die? The Baconator."

"A redditor discovers that the world will end in 23 hours... The news never even got to report on it."

"What do you get when you make a scarf out of a cat? A Neko."

"Never trust a fart... You never know what kind of shit your asshole is up to."