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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when a pastry kills another pastry? Game of Scones."

"I like my cars how I like my women Asian and dirty."

"I went to bed with a 7 and woke up with a 10. Forced upgrades should be illegal, Microsoft."

"Did you hear about the crew members of the USS Enterprise that needed help climbing into their bunks? They were hoisted by their own Picard."

"A fun trick for remembering peoples names is to never interact with anyone."

"*Godzilla smashing Tokyo & eating people. After destroying an asylum he suddenly dies* 60s cop1: what happened 60s cop2: haha nut allergy"

"Why did the scarecrow receive an award? It was outstanding in his field."

"I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's ""The Final Countdown"" during the last 30 seconds."

"What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity? ""Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."""

"McDonalds employees get so cranky when you perform the entire dance routine to Britney Spear's ""I'm a slave for you"" before ordering."