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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between modern pop and Christmas music? One is 6 people singing 100 songs, the other is 100 people singing 6 songs."

"Why was the glass-blower forced to retire? He sucked..."

"How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool? Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off? Shake the stool. ^(OK, I'll leave now.)"

"No one realizes when someone says, ""The last thing I wanna do is hurt you,"" that basically implies: there is a list, hurting you is on it."

"I really needed something positive in my life so I finally got tested."

"What's a hotdog's best subject in school? History. Because history has always been written by wieners."

"My wife asked me why I was walking around the house with a gun I responded, ""Because of those fucking decepticons!"" I laughed. She laughed. The toaster laughed. I shot the toaster."

"The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience."

"Where do you send Jewish kids with ADHD? Concentration Camp"

"Dropped a gorilla into my apartment so I could shoot my roommate"