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Joke of the Day

"Was my French teacher into golden showers? Oui. Courtesy of Stewart Francis."

"I'm no weatherman... But you'll be seeing more than a couple inches tonight. ;)"

"IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath."

"Q: What do you get when you mix a rooster with a telephone pole? A: A 30ft cock that wants to reach out and touch someone"

"*phone rings* ""Yeh hi who's this? Sure he's here hold on.. Drastic Measures! Call for u."" ""Who is it?"" ""Drastic Times"" *crowd goes wild*"

"A termite walks into a bar... and asks, is the bar tender here?"

"Honey, I made the news! Apparently that old lady I fought at the library wasn't a ghost"

"I have a punchline with no joke. Help me out guys. Herpules and plaugasus..."

"Did you hear the one about the tiny prisoner who went down the stairs? It's a little condescending. ;)"

"Voldemort tried to kill my grandpa twice during the war! That's why his helmet has two lighting bolts."