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Joke of the Day

"*phone rings* ""Yeh hi who's this? Sure he's here hold on.. Drastic Measures! Call for u."" ""Who is it?"" ""Drastic Times"" *crowd goes wild*"

"Son, as a reward for graduating high-school at the top of your class, we've decided to pool or money and send you abroad! Son: Is she hot?"

"Paul McCartney wrote 'Yesterday' But he also wrote 'Obla-de-obla-da' and 'Ebony and Ivory' So, don't worry if some of your tweets are shit"

"Sorry I said ""What is it?"" when you showed me your baby."

"I like my jokes how I like my women Reposted and reused."

"""These speakers didn't cost that much so I doubt they will work well"" ""that is a cheap stereotype"""

"I don't always roll a joint... But when I do it's my ankle."

"How does NASA organize a party They planet"

"It's a good thing this video game is rated mature because it's going to be babysitting the kids tonight."

"A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave because they are now aware of the added danger that has been added to the environment."