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Joke of the Day

"""Oh, did I ever tell you about the time I bounced a check for my girlfriend's abortion? They had to put the baby back in. And that baby... ...was Shia LaBeouf."" -Klaus, American Dad"

"When she screams ""deeper!""... But you're all out of poems."

"My girlfriend always gets her way by pretending she's sad. She is using sighcology"

"Doctor: i'd like you to step on the scale. Me: You first, pal."

"What do you call a basement full of redditors? A wine cellar."

"What do you call a man with a nose but no body? nobody knows"

"What phrase do prostitutes and mafia members both say? You lookin to get whacked?"

"Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down a lane and turned into a field..."

"Girl at party tells me that ""That wasn't funny"". Her review was biased one, as she was the subject of ""That"" that ""wasn't funny""."

"If A Book Store Never Runs Out Of A Certain Book, Dose That Mean That Nobody Reads It, Or Everybody Reads It"