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Joke of the Day

"Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump at all"

"What did one paedophile say to the other? Swap you two fives for a ten"

"Where does the General keep his armies? Up his sleevies!"

"Nsfw. My wife and I had not had sex in a couple months but this morning she woke up randy... He is our neighbor and said her music was up too loud. We still havent had sex."

"I can control what you do next in life. Made you click."

"I'm a fartartist The fart is silent"

"I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there's an 83% chance that my nephew just added ""Mother*ucker"" to his vocabulary."

"[roulette] ME: [slaps table] 50 on red CROUPIER: Sir that is 50 pictures of Celine Dion ME: Yes and if I win [grabs him] you owe me 50 more"

"Cats are about as useful as a football bat."

"A man walks into a gay bar and says... ""Whose dick do I gotta suck to suck a dick around here?"""