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Joke of the Day

"That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls"

"Do you know what the strongest thing in the world is? Exlax, it's a laxative and knocked the shit out of super man"

"""Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now"" ""Emo? Nah yo, EMU"" ""Im confused.."" *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* ""Hi confused, Im Dad"""

"How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? None because feminists can't change anything."

"Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteors"

"Your mama's so poor When god created light she was already two months behind on her bill."

"[on a business trip to South Carolina] Nice to meet you. I'm from Philadelphia. ""Welcome to the United States."""

"What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua? A short one!"

"What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A Roman Catholic"

"""you yelled 'this is not my daddy!' when i picked you up to leave the store. you're lucky i let you live"" -how dad signs my birthday cards"