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Joke of the Day

"Wife: ""Can you pick up milk?"" Me: *lifts gallon* ""Yeah, it's easy."" Wife: ""I mean from the store."" Me: ""I'd imagine it weighs the same there too"""

"People always complain that Jewish people have all the money. Well if 6 million of your people died, you'd expect at least some inheritance"

"I went to a zoo the other day and all they had was a terrier. It was a shih tzu."

"What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant."

"Three tampons walk into a bar, a kotex, a playtex, and a tampax. Which one says hello first? None, they're all stuck up bitches."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a prostitute? You can order one of them without mushrooms."

"Ok parents who have really clean houses, do you have outdoor pets and outdoor kids? How does this work?"

"Even the best men in the Chinese military Have chinks in their armor"

"I purposely did not bring my reusable shopping bags to the grocery store and I have never felt so alive!"

"What's the definition of an Irish homosexual? One who likes women more than beer"