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Joke of the Day

"The easiest way to get over someone is with a steamroller."

"At the end of your life, you should get a rebate for however much time you spent learning cursive."

"DOCTOR: If you don't exercise, there's really no point in dieting. ME: I can't wait to tell my wife the good news."

"ME: snakes are mean TEACHER: right ME: but it's not their fault. They have 2 ends & no legs TEACHER: ok ME: so the ends justify the mean"

"What is a Mexican's least favorite nursery rhyme? Humpty Dumpty"

"My piss looks and smells like gasoline this morning. My piss does impersonations of other liquids. That's talented piss."

"The escalators at the mall suddenly began working super quickly, causing several people to fall over and brutally die. That escalated quickly."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because no body liked you in high school, and then you caught me speeding."

"What starts with ""f"" and ends with ""uck"" Fire truck!"

"What is very big, gray, and just doesn't matter? An irrelephant."