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Joke of the Day

"How do you keep an idiot with RES busy? loading..."

"""Well, there goes the end of my arm,"" said Tom offhandedly."

"I never mess with anyone in a Pontiac Aztek. I just don't want to be on the wrong end of another of their poor decisions."

"Your girlfriend should never be jealous of another woman. Instead, you should do your best to make other women jealous of her."

"I was really angry when my wife tried to sue me for impotence But luckily they couldn't make it stand up in court"

"*hands you baby* Here's your Christmas present I got it at the mall but it didn't come with a gift receipt & people may be looking for it."

"How did Al Gore invent the Internet? With Al-Gore-rithims"

"They had to shut down the T-Rex cloning program at the Oedipus Complex. It was on the news this morning. Apparently, the entire staff was eaten by mother-fucking dinosaurs."

"Did you know that clumsy people are more likely to be obese? That's because they keep walking into things.........like McDonald's."

"What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not? North Koreans have no Seoul."