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Joke of the Day

"I heard somewhere that... You only remember things that you read, is that true?"

"9/11 Who? Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? I thought you said you would never forget!"

"My car dealer will subtract the number of upvotes from my purchase price. When I spend more than $100 000"

"Did such a great job cutting down a tree yesterday The neighbours clapped as I took a bough"

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"You haven't truly won an argument until the other person says ""whatever"" !"

"What's the difference between a jew and a Canoe? Canoes tip"

"you're lucky I can teach you how to shave my dad wasnt around to teach me. now watch *presses razor against face and moves head up and down*"

"I have seen you with no filter, and I still adore you."

"On a scale of newlyweds to married 25 years, how willing are you to admit I'm right?"