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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Fuck you, Mike's. It's not ""Lemonade for Grownups,"" it's Beer for Babies."

"Did you hear about the fish addicted to worms? He got hooked."

"There are two fish in a tank. One says to the other, ""How do you drive this thing?"""

"A lawyer with insomnia consulted her doctor. ""Which side is it best to lie on?"" she asked. ""The side that pays your fee"" replied the doctor."

"COP: Do you know why I pulled you over. BLANKET: You were cold?"

"I became a father late last night. Reddit, what are your best dad jokes?"

"Insomnia causes questionable browser history."

"What do you call a legless nun? Virgin immobile. Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke."

"I went to France yesterday to see a soccer match... I had a blast!"