144612

Joke of the Day

"Friend: Did Eric survive the bear attack? Me: 'BEAR'-ly! F: HA! Any injuries? Me: {nervously} Ooooohhhhh BAD JOKE... He's definitely dead..."

"Just getting romantic with the wife when our slow cooker set off our smoke alarm so yes, I was crock blocked."

"Where does Santa keep his nuts? In his nutsack..."

"You won't believe this, kids, but TV used to end. Every day. They played the national anthem, and then it just...stopped. Scary, huh?"

"Your voice reminds me of a fart. It smells and nobody likes it."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Friend 2: To get to the idiot's house. Friend 1: Knock knock Friend 2: Who's there? Friend 1: The chicken"

"I was in Feruson, got jumped by 5 black guys It started right up, they said I just need to replace the battery."

"So a. Mormon and a Catholic walk into a bar... And there goes your middle class."

"What do you call a red lemon? a Lenin. ;)"

"Universities are like priests They will teach you a few things, and then take you into the back room to fuck you."