119886
Joke of the Day
"I said my wife's name three times in front of the bathroom mirror and now my wallet's empty..."
Next Joke
"Two guys in Ohio die and wake up in hell The paramedics revived them"
"What's the best part about Dragon Ball Z? Find out in the next episode of Dragon! Ball! Z!"
"What do the Green Bay Packers and Monica Lewinsky have in common? Clinton Dix, haha."
"Appreciation speech I'd like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My fingers, I can always count on them, and the sidewalks for keeping me off the streets I'm here all week."
"They say you are what you eat... I guess that makes me human"
"You don't need to tell me that I'm not your cup of tea. I am well aware that I'm not a cup of tea, idiot."
"Legend of Tarzan 2: Tarzan meets other primates. He befriends them all. He teaches them to fight. It's a prequel to Planet of the Apes."
"So I had a dream last night about eating breakfast. It was pretty *surreal.*"
"Asked my 3yo what she was thinking and she said ""I wouldn't want to work at McDonald's bc you have to poop in the food before you serve it."""