206151

Joke of the Day

"I'd never let my kids watch an orchestral performance. Too much sax and violins."

"""I see..."" said the blind man as he pissed into the wind. ""It's all coming back to me now."""

"Two chickens were chatting around the coop. ""That big rooster next door made a pass at me!"" one exclaimed. ""Really? Did you provoke him?"" ""Well, I egged him on a little."""

"What is an Actor? A man who tries to be everything but himself"

"Just held the door for an Asian guy and he said ""Sank you"" so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"COP: The killer wrote a message on the victim's mirror ME: You can't prove it was me COP: It was written in Dorito dust ME: I want a lawyer"

"When I die, I want my ashes scattered in front of the TV."

"You're Immature My girlfriend said that I'm too immature I said if I'm immature than why have i got an arsfor She said wats an arsefor I said shitting and giggled for 20 mins"

"Did you hear about the Native American who went to a party and drank 37 cups of tea? They found him dead the next morning in his tea pee."

"What did one casket say to the other? What did one casket say to the other casket?...Is that you coffin..."