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Joke of the Day

"*wife gives me a big hug before I leave for work* I love you too, babe! [later] Where's my credit card? Son of a.."

"I hear there's a support group for overly talkative people... It's called And On And On And On Anon"

"What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he's not going to come anyway. (might of already been posted)"

"If Trump wins the election, I'm leaving the country. If Clinton wins the election, I'm leaving the country. This isn't a political post; I just want to travel."

"I like my coffee like my women.. Ice cold and overly expensive."

"What did the FSB call the dissident who had been shot fifteen times in the head? The worst case of suicide they'd ever seen."

"*takes bite of cookie* Aw man this is awful *takes another bite* Still bad. But I better eat the rest to see if it gets better"

"What do you call an anticlimactic punchline? ""This is an actual question"""

"*shows up at ur door holding a bouquet of flowers with all the petals ripped off* hi, i brought u som flowers that told me u love me"

"I'll give up my thesaurus when you pry it from my frigid, frosty, frozen, cadaverous, lifeless, stiff, defunct extremities."