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Joke of the Day
"Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!"
Next Joke
"I like my coffee like I like my women. In the kitchen."
"How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope."
"Well, it's Inauguration Day in America.... It's gonna be a great mourning."
"I don't really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense. Like a Bear at mile 3."
"If I was in StarWars I would probably just be that guy that keeps turning his lightsaber on and off and on and off like a pen."
"How does Walter Palmer like his eggs? Poached. Thank you, I'm here all week. EDIT: this got no upvotes and I don't think it deserved any"
"I just won an award for my hairdressing skills. Best Newcomber"
"Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open."
"A dyslexic man walks into a bra. ....."